I
walked the girls into school this morning because I needed to let my first grader's teacher know that the dr's office was faxing in her sick
note. As I was leaving my fourth grader found me in the hallway to let me know
her class party was today. She started complaining about her stomach
hurting. She is the type of child who always keeps things in and it
usually surfaces in upset stomachs. She was scared to be at school. She
was home from school all last week with the flu and was sitting in my
room watching tv as the news broke Friday. She kept going back and
watching the news despite my efforts to shield her from it. She has
experienced loss through losing her 19 year old aunt, 2 great grandmothers she was very close to, and her young friend since she was about 2 who was killed last spring. She knows
all to well the finality of death. She has learned about the evil that
is in this world by recently learning about the details of her aunt's
death, how she was found hanging on an elementary school playground. My parents have been foster parents since before she was born and she has had first hand encounters with numerous children who have
been placed in foster care due to neglect and abuse. Now, her little 9
year old mind is trying to fathom how and why someone would break into a
school and hurt little children. She looked at her first grade sister
and realized her sister could have been one of the dead children (she
was a lot nicer to her all weekend). Today she is scared to be at
school. It broke my heart as a stood in the hallway talking to her and
realized that my child is scared to go about her daily routines. It
angered me a little that my child has to even face concerns like this
and she is still a child. As I walked back to the van I thought about
the fear all of those children in Connecticut are feeling today as some
of them try to regain their lives by creating a new "normal". The lives
of those children and their families will never return to the normal
they knew before 9:30 Friday morning. It is scary as a parent when you
realize that you are helpless and have no control over a situation
concerning your child. The first instinct of many parents after Friday
is to snatch their child out of public school. That isn't the answer.
Will we also forbid them from going to a movie, the mall, or what about
riding in a car? We can take every precaution possible but sadly
sometimes that isn't enough. Tragedy can strike anywhere; in school, a
store, at a stop sign, even in our own homes. At the end of the day we
have no control. As a parent that is the hardest thing to accept.
Instead of teaching our children to live in constant fear, we must teach
them to be cautious, but to live life. We must teach them that sadly
evil does exist in our world and sometimes horrible things happen to
great people. Teach them that people make really bad choices that others
have to pay the consequences for. We must teach them that we do not
have all of the answers. Teach them that it is ok to be scared, but that
we control our lives not fear. Sometimes we must teach them how to
create a new "normal" life. We must teach them that we should never
waste an opportunity to experience love, and to be kind to others. We
must teach them to live a life that has no regrets whether they live a
life of many years or just a few short ones. We must let them know that
every minute of every day they are loved and we are blessed that they
are a part of our lives.
